Why Would You Make This!?

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Watermelon, lime, bergamot, paprika, raisins, apples, sichuan pepper,

Savory, melon, fruit, smokey, salty, hay, tomato, metallic

Fractionated coconut oil, fragrance

I don’t remember how I came across this hilariously awful review of making smoked watermelon in The Guardian, but that night I dreamt of making a smoked watermelon perfume.

I immediately wrote down the idea and ingredients and promptly forgot about it. What a terrible idea. What a stupid, awful, bad, terrible, terribad idea.

Until I decided to start composing it. A fruity, sweet-umami gourmand? Maybe this isn’t so bad. There definitely aren’t many savory gourmands... Yeah, I like how this worked out.

"For the next two days, the watermelon sits in the fridge in a bath of brine. When people come over I bring it out like an underwhelming Victorian curio. Here it is. It’s the watermelon I have carved to look like a ham. What have I been up to? Not much, but I did carve a watermelon into a ham."